IFS Therapy

Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS)

As IFS Informed Therapist, I help people understand the various parts in their internal system and how these parts were protecting their system for survival. Clients move from hating some parts of themselves to understanding and honoring the part for what it has done for them to survive. One of the most wonderful things I share with my clients when doing IFS therapy is that there are no bad parts of them in their internal system.

What is IFS Therapy?

IFS, Internal Family Systems is a type of therapy that looks at your internal self as a collection of parts. These internal parts were created throughout your life based on distressing experiences as a protective way to be able to function. These parts include Exiles, Protectors which are Managers and Firefighters, and then there is the Self.

The Exile

When you have experienced distressing event a core wound is created and the part known as the exile holds this wound.  For example, if a wound that was created is a belief that “I am not good enough”, this exiled part embodies this pain.  So, in order for your system to function, it pushes this part away, thus it being called the exile, as the pain is exiled away. Here is a list of other pain that an exile may be carrying:

  • “I am not enough, inadequate”

  • “I am not lovable”

  • “I am incompetent”

  • “I am not safe”

The Protectors

In order to make sure this exiled pain does not come up, your system created protectors, whose role is to literally protect your system from feeling pain. There are two types of protectors – managers and firefighter’s.  Managers come up in a protective manner to keep control and stability in the internal system so that you do not feel the exiled pain.  Here is an example of a manager doing its job and what it is trying to protect you from:

If you have a people pleasing part in your system, this is a Protector - Manager.  It comes up in situations to make sure everyone is okay and happy because if you do not make everyone else happy then you might risk getting hurt. This people pleasing part is protecting you from feeling the pain of rejection or not being good enough, the exiled part. This people pleasing part sound like “If I don’t may sure everyone is okay then I might not be liked or valued.” 

The second category of a Protector is a firefighter. Firefighters come up when an exile has been triggered and it tries to manage this crisis by dousing the fire (crisis) with behaviors that try to numb and distract from the pain, without caring about the destruction left behind. So, these firefighters parts look like binge substance use, binge eating, binge watching, mindless scrolling on social media, anything that will quickly numb the pain but leave some destruction behind. Regardless of the way a firefighter works, its role is still to protect you from feeling this exile pain. 

The Self

The final piece to understand in the internal family system is the Self. The Self is your true core self. It is who you really are when we are not burdened or driven by your exiled pain or driven by the agenda of the protectors.  When we are led by our Core Self, we embody these 8 characteristics of self energy:

  • Curiosity   

  • Calm

  • Confidence

  • Compassion

  • Creativity

  • Clarity

  • Courage

  • Connectedness

How IFS therapy can help:

Here is a list of some protector parts that will able to relax with IFS therapy:

  • People pleasing part

  • Perfectionist part

  • Self-critical part

  • High Achieving part

  • Scarcity mindset part

  • Shame part

  • Guilt part

  • Anxious part

  • Intellectualizing part

  • Doom Scrolling part

Here is a list of exiled parts that we can unburden (free from the pain they hold) with IFS therapy:

  • “I am not good enough”

  • “I am a disappointment”

  • “I am not in control”

  • “I am a bad person”

  • “I am a bad daughter”

IFS therapy allows you to have understanding of your internal system, how it works, what exiled pain you carry, who are the protectors in your system, and how these protectors work.  IFS therapy provides a way for the protector parts to relax and the exiled parts to be witnessed and unburdened from their pain, thus strengthening your core self and allowing you to have more opportunities to be self led.

Curious of how your internal system works and the parts that come up when your pain is triggered?  Schedule a free consult today!

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Here’s a video from the founder of Internal Family Systems, Dr. Richard C. Schwartz explaining this model: